Menopausal and P*ssed Off? How Traditional East Asian Medicine confirms that Menopause Rage isn’t ‘just in your head’.

| Last updated: August 28th 2026 |

Menopause Rage. You didn’t see it coming, did you? 

One moment you were managing the meeting – the one you had been preparing all month – then your excited colleague cuts you off with her idea that she just needed to share. You slam your hands on the table: ‘I was speaking!’

On the drive home, the green light comes – but the car in front takes off too slowly, leaving trapped by a red light and another traffic cycle. You honk and blurt out profanities. The drivers around you stare at you, bewildered.

Then you’re multi-tasking at dinner time after a long, weary day, with soup on the stove and a vegetable bake in the oven. Your eye is on the oven clock – it’s six-fifteen already – and you start to unload the dishwasher while nagging your daughter to pull away from the TV and do her homework. Hubby strolls in during the break from watching the evening news and asks innocently: ‘When will dinner be ready, honey? I’m tired.’  

A surge of fierce heat rises within you. You throw the tea towel at him and scream, ‘You’re tired? You cook the bloody dinner yourself!’ You storm off, slamming the bedroom door behind you.

In all cases, the people around you are left wide-eyed and speechless. Your reaction seemed so disproportionate – and out of character for those who know you.

They are shocked… and so are you.

Ashamed, even.

You have never thought of yourself as an angry person (without reason, anyway). So why are you lashing out like this? Why are you so easily triggered, jumping from zero to 100 over such minor events?

Let me assure you, my friend, that you are not losing your mind. 

Menopause Rage – extreme reactivity of intense anger, frustration or irritability during perimenopause and menopause – is a very real thing. Western medicine attributes it to hormonal fluctuations, physical exhaustion and modern stressors. Traditional East Asian Medicine explains it as Liver Qi Stagnation, which depending on the school of thought, is likely to be a ripple effect of Kidney Yin Deficiency or Liver Blood Stasis.

Let’s explore Menopause Rage a little deeper from both Western and Eastern perspectives.

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What Western Medicine Sees: The Oestrogen Cliff

From a Western medical perspective, perimenopause and menopause mark a significant hormonal transition. The ovaries produce less oestrogen and progesterone, and this decline can be erratic, unpredictable, and at times, dramatic.

Oestrogen plays a regulatory role far beyond reproduction. It modulates serotonin and dopamine, our feel-good neurotransmitters. It supports the prefrontal cortex — the part of the brain responsible for impulse regulation, perspective and emotional nuance; it is our ‘filter’ to the world. As oestrogen drops, so does the neurochemical buffer between stimulus and response.

The result? What once would have been a minor irritation now registers in the nervous system as a full-scale threat. Your sympathetic nervous system is activated and you’re thrust into full ‘fight’ mode. The amygdala, the brain’s threat-detection centre, becomes hyper-reactive. Hot flushes, night sweats and sleep disruption contribute to poor sleep and thus, physical exhaustion – the last thing you need if you’re already juggling the slippery balls of family, work and life. Cortisol spikes – making you more aggressive than usual – only compound the picture. Your body is under physiological pressure… and your nervous system and emotional wellbeing show it.

Western medicine offers options for symptom management: HRT, antidepressants, sleep aids. These have their place, and have certainly helped many suffering perimenopausal and menopausal women. Traditional East Asian Medicine (TEAM), however, offers a different view – and it’s worth investigating if you’re not finding relief through Western medicine, or want to opt for natural means to ease your Menopause Rage. For instance, physical exercise is often recommended to boost serotonin and dopamine. Short bursts of explosive physical expression, such as those practised in trauma-informed Transformational Self-Defence and Martial Arts (TSDMA) is perfectly suited to Menopause Rage.

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What Traditional East Asian Medicine Sees

Viewpoint 1: The General and the Wood and Water Relationship

In Traditional East Asian Medicine (and, for the purpose of this post, Chinese Medicine), menopausal symptoms are explained through two different viewpoints. Let’s start with the most common one – the diagnosis that’s proliferated by Traditional Chinese Medicine: Kidney Yin Deficiency.

During perimenopause, the Kidney Jing (Kidney Essence), our constitutional essence gifted to us at birth, begins to shift. The body redirects resources away from reproduction and towards spiritual ripening, wisdom and creativity.

Menopause is not a decline. In classical texts, menopause is considered a threshold into the glorious ‘Second Spring’ of a woman’s life. Your energy is no longer directed towards your monthly cycle and childbearing and so you may feelings of liberation, a renewal of sexual freedom, and a desire for inner growth.

With Kidney Jing declining, Kidney Yin also becomes deficient. Yin energy, as a whole, is responsible for cooling the body; without sufficient Kidney Yin to anchor Kidney Yang, there is relatively excess Kidney Yang energy. It rises to heat your body, resulting in symptoms like:

🔥 Hot flushes 

🔥 Night sweats

🔥 Insomnia

🔥 Lower back and knee pain

🔥 Dizziness 

🔥 ‘Five-palm heat’ (feeling heat in your palms, soles and chest) 

🔥 Dryness in of the mouth, throat, skin and vagina

Without yin energy to moisten and nourish the body and anchor yang, yang ‘floats’ and creates ‘empty heat’, hence symptoms such as hot flushes, night sweats and five-palm heat. (These heating symptoms are another, less romantic, reason menopause is termed the ‘Second Spring’.) This in itself can cause irritability… but when the Liver Meridian-Organ system is impacted as a ripple effect, that’s when Menopause Rage truly comes to the fore. 

In Five Element (or Five Phase) Theory, Liver is governed by the Wood Element; Kidney, by the Water Element. In what’s known as the ‘Generating Cycle’, Water is the ‘child’ of Wood. If you think of what happens in nature, Water feeds seeds and seedlings to help them flourish, so this ‘parent-child’ relationship between Water and Wood is logical. Likewise, if the Kidney Meridian-Organ system is affected (in the case of menopause, Kidney Jing and Kidney Yin are depleting), it also makes sense that there is a flow-on effect to the Liver.

Now the Liver is known as the General of the body; it’s responsible for the smooth flow of qi (life force energy), Blood (In TEAM, Blood is seen as both quantity and quality of blood) and emotions. When Kidney Yin becomes deficient, Liver Yin can also drop as it lacks nourishment, which in turn, impairs the Liver’s ability to circulate qi. This results in Liver Qi Stagnation (if you’ve been following my work, this is the primary cause of charged emotions as a whole – anger, frustration, rage, depression – even without perimenopause or menopause!)

As an aside, Liver Yin Deficiency, like Kidney Yin Deficiency, creates a relative excess in Liver Yang. This ‘floats’ to create ‘Empty Heat’ symptoms. These are quite similar to those of Kidney Yin Deficiency, with additional symptoms:

🩸 Scanty or irregular menstruation

👁️ Eye and vision problems

Menstruation and vision are areas are governed by the Liver, hence these symptoms that arise with Liver Yin Deficiency.

As mentioned, Liver Qi Stagnation can be a consequence of Liver Yin Deficiency. It can also come about as a side-effect of childbirth.

Viewpoint 2: The Aftermath of Childbirth

This viewpoint is sometimes shared in Classical Chinese Medicine. The main argument is that the heating symptoms of menopause don’t come from Kidney Yin Deficiency but Liver Blood Stasis. ‘If it were true Kidney Yin Deficiency,’ they argue, ‘a menopausal woman would feel constantly warm, all over. There wouldn’t be sudden onsets of heat and in alternating part of the body.’

Instead, menopausal symptoms arise from Liver Blood Stasis. Liver Blood Stasis is a common aftermath of childbirth, when Blood stagnates in the body (particularly in the mid-region) – and left untreated, stays stagnant. Qi and Blood have an interdependent relationship: while stagnant qi can’t move Blood and can thus, generate Liver Blood Stasis, the opposite is true. Blood is seen as the mother of qi: it nourishes and anchors qi. When Blood becomes congested – as is often the case after giving birth – it creates a physical blockage in the body and qi stagnation in the meridians – namely, the Liver as it governs the smooth flow of Blood and qi.

When qi is stuck, heat builds – hence the hot flushes, night sweats and ‘five-palm heat’.

When qi is stuck, it can’t move fluids properly through the body – hence the thirst and dry skin and lips.

From either viewpoint, it’s not just your body’s biomedical reactions that causes Liver Qi to become stuck.

Lifestyle factors strongly contribute to Liver Qi Stagnation – and Menopause Rage.

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Lifestyle and Menopause Rage

By the time you experience perimenopause or menopause, you may already be struggling with chronic stress and overwork, which deplete Kidney Yin, Liver Yin and Liver Blood. Years of emotional suppression – swallowing feelings, prioritising others, playing the peace-maker or people-pleaser, or perhaps wearing the heavy crown of ‘Martyr’ for the family – further quash your authentic self and your true emotions, and stagnate Liver Qi. These conditions also contribute to the ‘Good Girl Syndrome’. They are not personality traits but survival adaptations.

Chronic stress, overwork and emotional suppression can all contribute to Liver Qi Stagnation and Menopause Rage.

If you recognise yourself in these behaviours, self-compassion is the commonly recommended antidote – and it’s not just sleep-ins and day spa treatments that are prescribed. The yang of self-compassion must be practised: establishing firm boundaries, asking for help and learning to say ‘no!’ with compassion are crucial skills for emotional and mental wellbeing. This is especially during seasons of pressure and biological change, such as menopause. 

Setting Your Boundaries, Finding (and Using) your Voice and Saying ‘No!’ are vital self-compassion practices – especially during menopause. They are important ways to transform Menopause Rage to holistic empowerment. >> These are areas I explore in-depth with my ‘Warrior Emerging’ clients.

Furthermore, disrupted sleep, common in perimenopause, means the Liver cannot perform its nightly function of replenishing Blood and clearing and processing emotional residue. This means you get out of bed exhausted before you even face your demanding boss, foul-mouthed, moody teenagers or there-but-not-really husband.

So you’re tired, your Liver and Kidneys are depleted – then you add hormonal volatility to the wild terrain of menopause.

It’s no wonder that when you’re suddenly triggered by the colleague who cuts you off, being left at the traffic lights or your hungry husband innocently asking when dinner is ready, your reaction isn’t merely annoyance or irritability. It is rage. Sudden, consuming, flying-off-the-handle, seemingly disproportionate Menopause Rage. 

From a trauma-informed perspective, if you’ve struggled with the ‘Good Girl Syndrome’ your entire life, you will become a powder keg. You would’ve suppressed your voice, been unable to say ‘no’ and had indiscernible boundaries in a ‘fawn’ response of ‘please and appease’. All the stressors of midlife will be strong triggers for your rage-filled explosions.

These explosions are your body’s way of completing the stress response loop.

This rage – this release – allows your Liver Qi to finally move.

Now you may be asking, ‘Surely there’s a better, healthier way?’

I assure you there is, Soul Sister… but first, a quick recap:

☯️ In TEAM, menopause is seen as a ‘Second Spring’ and attributed to a natural decline of Kidney Jing and Kidney Yin Deficiency OR Liver Blood Stasis arising from childbirth. Liver Qi Stagnation is a common ripple effect.

😟 The most common causes of Liver Qi Stagnation are lifestyle factors: long-term stress and overwork, and emotional suppression.  

🫸🏼 During intense seasons of biological change such as menopause, practising firm boundaries and learning to say ‘no!’ are crucial self-compassion skills for emotional and mental wellbeing. These topics are explored in-depth in my ‘Warrior Emerging’ Signature Program to clarify and put in place boundaries with your family, friends and work, and get you comfortable with saying ‘no!’ (even if they are ‘alternative no’s’ so they aren’t so harsh!)

😴 Disrupted sleep means the Liver cannot replenish Blood and process emotions at night. It also means you approach your days already exhausted and with low tolerance for stressors, which contributes greatly to Menopause Rage.

😡 If you’ve struggled with ‘the Good Girl Syndrome’, your rage-filled explosions may be triggered by the midlife stressors. Your explosions are your body’s way of completing the stress response loop.

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An Alternative Way to Release Menopause Rage

As mentioned above, physical exercise is often recommended for menopause, and especially for Menopause Rage. But not all exercises are equal.

When I talk about Transformational Self-Defence and Martial Arts (TSDMA) and why it works so well for charged emotions like anger, frustration, rage and depression, it comes down to this:

Strong Stagnant Liver Qi needs an equally strong vehicle to mobilise it and break through it.

Western culture often teaches us to manage our anger. We talk through about it with a therapist. We are told to breathe through it. Calm it down. Meditate it away. We are handed a toolbox designed to dim the fire… then we wonder why, within days or weeks, it returns stronger than before.

In TEAM, this approach is not just ineffective; in the case of strong Liver Qi Stagnation, it is often contraindicated. When Liver Qi is stagnant and overheated, suppressing or soothing away your rage only builds it. Your anger isn’t acknowledged, you’re not given a proper opportunity to express how you feel, and your rage (and stagnation) isn’t able to dissipate.

Moreover, ‘managing anger’ is often suppressing anger disguised in a satin cloak. This implies that anger is negative. Through a trauma-informed lens, this belief is fundamentally flawed.

There are no ‘bad’ emotions; every emotion exists for a reason. Every emotion is to be befriended and embraced for the gifts they offer. The gift of anger is to voice your boundaries.

TSDMA is a form of somatic therapy and the heart and soul of my beautiful ‘Warrior Emerging’ Signature Program. TSDMA helps you integrate your anger and transform it into empowerment. It’s a powerful channel for physical, mental and emotional release – without the guilt or shame that arises from angry outbursts.

Instead lashing out, you will discover and learn to feel safe with your power. You will engage this power on a daily basis: saying ‘no’ to your daughter having a friend over because you’re exhausted, or finally confronting your boss about the unbearable workload that he expected you to have completed yesterday. You integrate your anger – and the force of anger that helps protect you – both somatically and with small shifts in behaviour and mindset.

You will be armed with TSDMA techniques, which feature TEAM and psycho-spiritual correspondences. You will be empowered with battle cries. Regular practice of TSDMA and battle cries, even in short bursts, will disperse Liver Qi Stagnation. This means that if you’re perimenopausal or menopausal, heating symptoms can cool, allowing your body to return to its intricate, dynamic balance.

Best of all, TSDMA doesn’t require you to be fit, strong, flexible or super-coordinated!

When anger is integrated, Menopause Rage is a thing of the past.

What’s more, ‘Warrior Emerging’ is not only designed to alchemise your rage and use its force to empower you holistically, towards the end of your 4 month program, your TSDMA techniques transform into genuine, tried-and-true self-defence techniques and strategies for real-world self-protection.

That’s something that no angry outburst can ever boast.

TSDMA is a positive, safe, healthy and constructive vehicle that’s designed to mobilise and alchemise charged emotions, and leverage them as fuel for holistic empowerment.

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The Bottom Line is…

Menopause Rage is real. It’s proven in Western medicine: hormonal changes, physical exhaustion and the many demands placed on modern women contribute to irritability and rage. It’s validated in Traditional East Asian Medicine, which points to either Kidney Yin Deficiency or Liver Blood Stasis as the underlying factor for Liver Qi Stagnation – and its resultant rage. TSDMA, the heart and soul of my 4-Month ‘Warrior Emerging’ Signature Program, is a powerful, holistic and fit-for-purpose vehicle for alchemising Menopause Rage, anger, frustration, depression and other charged emotions. Your anger will be integrated – and transformed into power and calm confidence.

What you can do if you are battling with Menopause Rage:

• Make an appointment with your local TEAM practitioner, or talk to your holistic GP about natural therapies to support you during menopause. This step is crucial so your body can start receiving the help it needs, which it turn, means that you’re laying down foundations for your physical health as you step into your ‘Second Spring’. 
• Practice self-compassion from yin and yang vantage-points. For yin practices, this may look like eliminating what you can from your daily ‘to-do’ list, getting a massage or catching up with a friend for a cuppa and a soul-nourishing conversation. Yang practices include clarifying and enacting on your boundaries, asking for help, and saying ‘no’ more often. To start with, write down one area or one person to which you can say ‘no!’ It doesn’t need to be harsh: ‘Compassionate ‘no’s’ or kind-but-firm ‘no’s’ are what we’re aiming for. Action this ‘no’ this week. >> Setting your Boundaries, Finding (and Using) Your Voice and Saying ‘No!’ are important topics that I explore with my ‘Warrior Emerging’ clients.
• Physically express your Menopause Rage through a short TSDMA session. You can download my Free Empowerment Toolkit: ‘How to Heal Anger and Frustration through Transformational Self-Defence and Martial Arts’ for 6 easy and effective techniques to get you started. (And yes, you can actually use them in a real-life self-defence situation!) The idea is not to use these techniques against someone who’s angering you (!) but to practice when you’re having a mental rant or when you’re just about to confront someone – and it’s likely to blow up into an argument. Instead of exploding, you can also practice after a confrontation to close the stress response loop. You will notice the energetic and physical release as stagnant Liver Qi starts to disperse.

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Warrior Woman, are you ready to release and heal from your Menopause Rage… and turn it into Power?

Warrior Emerging: Your 4 Month Transformational Self-Defence and Martial Arts Empowerment Program

There has likely been a Warrior Emerging within you for many years, Soul Sister. And menopause – with all its fire and ferocity – may be precisely the doorway she has been waiting at.

‘Warrior Emerging’ is my beautiful Signature Program. It is built upon Transformational Self-Defence and Martial Arts, a unique, trauma-informed methodology for emotional healing and holistic empowerment that I have developed across 30 years of Martial Arts and Self-Defence Instruction, and 20 years of Empowerment Coaching and as a Traditional East Asian Medicine practitioner. ‘Warrior Emerging’ is for the Spiritual Woman who is ready to transform her charged emotions – including Menopause Rage – and step into High Level, Whole Being Empowerment.

As a private ‘Warrior Emerging’ client, we will work intensively over 4 months in a combination of tailored 1:1 Sessions and online.

I am here to support you through moments of emotional healing – and incredible breakthroughs. Step-by-step, you will progress from your Menopause Rage and underlying Liver Qi Stagnation, towards holistic empowerment. The TSDMA techniques and strategies I teach are genuine self-defence and martial art techniques and strategies – and by the end of the program, you’ll be able to confidently fend off assailants. 

Warrior Emerging.

Designed for Inner Healing.

Applicable for Real-World Self-Protection.

I am here to help you:

✅ Pinpoint the trigger(s) for your Menopause Rage, and gain crystal-clear clarity on the Highest Empowered Version of You that’s waiting for you to meet her!

✅ Safely and effectively alchemise your rage through TSDMA from easy qi gong and somatic yoga exercises to karate blocks and power generation principles to powerful self-defence strikes and strategies (This can include exercises to heal from sexual wounding).

✅ Learn important (yet quick!) energetic tools to complement the process of transmuting your emotions

✅ Bust through the Good Girl Syndrome (if it’s causing problems in your relationships, work and life, it’s diabolical when it comes to self-defence and safety!) >> The Good Girl Syndrome is a common underlying pattern in Menopause Rage!

✅ Find – and use – your Voice in a Very. Big. Way.

✅ Set clear, firm Boundaries – in your life and in Self-Defence.

✅ Build shine-from-the-inside-out Confidence, as you discover the spiritual basis of Confidence and Self-Love.

✅ Understand crucial Prevention and Protection strategies and how to adopt a safety mindset. This includes my unique ‘4 Stages of Interception’ Model

✅ Learn what not to do in self-defence and martial arts! (This mistake alone took me years of precious practice to unlearn!)

✅ Become physically empowered in self-defence through learning tried-and-true disengagements from common grabs (and their variations) and other attacks. Perfectly suitable for beginners, this includes how to use ‘Everyday Weapons’ for Self-Defence as well as my 6-Step Self-Defence against Grabs ‘Recipe’.

Warrior Woman, are you ready to transform your Rage into Power?

Learn More about ‘Warrior Emerging’ and its Inclusions

Apply for ‘Warrior Emerging’ Now >>

Complimentary. Obligation-Free. Ten minutes to clarity.

If your application is successful, you will be invited to a complimentary ‘Warrior Emerging’ Discovery Call where you can ask your questions in real time, discuss your goals and challenges with me, and explore what healing and High Frequency, Whole Being Empowerment looks like for you.